1/12/2010
Holy fucking shitballs, Minions! I have so much news for your bitch asses, I don't even know where to begin! First up, what the fuck do you think of this brand ass new website design?! We pulled out all the stops and hired 3 malnourished somolian kids to work this motherfucker over! Take a look around at some of the new sights and sounds, this piece hasn't been worked over in a minute!
Now that you're back lets get into what the fuck Hack Movies has been up to for the past 6 months. (If you were a follower of Hack on twitter or Facebook you'd already know!) Our big summer film of 2009, the epic COCKHAMMER was picked up for distribution through Tempe video! What's that mean? That means Hack Movies is coming to you in FULL effect in an OFFICIALLY official type way! The flick's available on amazon.com, tlavideo.com, mrskinshop.com and many, many other websites on the internets in addition to right here at Hack Movies HQ. That's a BIG deal for us, Minions! We've been pushing toward this goal for 5 YEARS! It's a good day to be a Hack Movies fan. :) Be sure to rep the pumpkin and show your full support by picking up COCKHAMMER at any of these fine online retailers!
Another year is behind us, Minions, another successful one for us here at Hack Movies. We did MANY shows, rocked many faces, sold MANY DVD pieces and made lots of new fans! You know us though, the show doesn't slow down at the Pumpkin. We've already booked a screening for CockHammer at Total Con 2010 in Worchester, Ma! We're looking to book screenings at Horrorhound weekend in Indianapolis in March, and right here at home in St. Louis AKA Strangemotherfuckingville at the CON-Tamination show in April! Those are just the first shows of the year, we're also working closely with our homies at the13thfloorfilms.com to do a series of double features of some of our flicks and their newest newnew the Pizza Delivery Massacre! Look for those dates to pop up in our tour section!
We've saved the best news for last once again! While we were busy not updating the website, making it look like we were over here falling off, we were in fact shooting our THIRD feature film of 2009, Nixon and Hogan Smoke Christmas! That's right, STIFF JOBS, COCKHAMMER, and NHSC all shot in 2009, you put that in your bongs and smoke it Motherfuckers! Hack Movies don't stop the freshenesssssss! This sick ass little Christmas movie puts Santa Clause himself in some fucked up situations that only the demented mind of Kevin Strange could come up with. We're talking Santa orgies, Santa weed smoking, Santa getting raped by a fine ass witch?! You got it! Don't sleep Minions! This one'll be available sometime early 2010 right here at home base, HackMovies.com!
That's it Minions. We're gonna try like balls to update this sucker at the begining of every month with new news. We've got a LOT of work in the new year, including an attempt at shooting FOUR new Feature films in addition to tons of live shows, screenings, conventions and festivals. We've got IT CAME FROM MY PANTS (REALLY!) coming up, we've got THE DEVIL'S BUTCRACK, VAMP CAMP, and late in the year (hopefully) STRANGE TIMES AT STRANGEVILLE HIGH! Peace Bitches! Smoke Christmas Trailer coming SOOOOOON! Post on the forum! Out!
